early morning

You know what sucks? When you can't sleep....Guess what I can't sleep... OMG this sh*t sucks. It sucks big brassy monkey balls.

I have watched hours of youtube. I have tried to read a book and got a headache. I have find my glasses so that when I try to read next time I wont have this crazy headache. I am about to say screw it but I can't. I mean I just cant. My brain knows my body needs to be asleep. But my body is like nope no sleep. My brain is trying to convince my body to lay still for ten minutes. Thats all it would take for me to sleep right about now.

That is so sad. I have one more thing. I hate cancer. Nick has prostate cancer. That sh*t sucks. He goes to have surgery in March. I don't know how he will feel about me around then. I don't know if he will even want to be with me. I don't know if I will want to be with him. That sounds so bad. But its true what if I meet Mr. Right by then. Would I leave him for that other person.

I dont know. I really dont.