Nick

You know when you see something and you can't focus on what it is. I had one of those days today. He called. Yep he called. He doesn't know about this blog I wonder how long it will stay under his radar. His name Nick. My name Tasha. He is married save me your crap about me being so wrong.

I don't really care to hear it. I already know that what I'm doing is wrong. But what about what he did to me. He lied to me for over a year. Yep to me the one that is supposed to be his princess. I love him. Yep thats wrong too. But its ok. He only told me the truth when I pushed an issue about not seeing me on memorial day. I was so upset that I was screaming in the phone. I was just pissed. I was hurt. I was everything. I was so angry.

Now my problem with him at this point is I'm stuck with him. I can't let go. I have tried it hurt to much. But I'm over these lies we have. Like you know when you were little you told your first lie well you dont remember that one but you know when you lie. You feel bad. But then when you confess you feel better. I dont wanna just feel better I wanna be happier. You know I want a guy I can take home to grandma and family. I cant take him home to the family. They would eat him alive. I want a guy that is strong enough for me and my family. That has no problem being himself. That can love me and not get confused in trying to keep me his lies to make that happen. I just want a grown up man. Not some kid that is barely legal. Gosh I want a lot don't I.....

I hope to meet that guy that can look at me and treat me like his partner and his equal. That guy that sees me when I am sick and knows that I dont look my best but still thinks im pretty. I want a guy that finds me attractive in general.